How I ended up soaking wet while standing on a smoking volcano

This time, unlike the jungle adventure, it was all my fault. I was the one dying to climb the active Villarica Volcano in the Chilean lakes district.

We had taken an overnight bus from Santiago to the town of Pucòn after having met an exceedingly helpful expat in the bus station who bought our bus tickets with his discount card and filled us with enough recommendations to keep us busy for well over three weeks (we had one and a half, mind you). I slept only lightly on the bus so I was quite bleary-eyed when I pulled back the curtain of the window in front of me (we were sitting in the first two seats on the second level of the bus) and wiped off the condensation with my sleeve. Looking around I was immediately taken by the green pastures that reminded me vaguely of the Finger Lakes in summer. As we rounded a bend in the road, a giant snow covered cone rose from the distance belching a stream of white smoke against a perfectly blue sky. Definitely not in the Finger Lakes. Thus began a brief but dramatic relationship with Volcàn Villarica.

Though we arrived at our loding by 9 a.m., it was already too late for volcano climbing this day. Instead, we hiked through a national park after reserving our ascent for tomorrow.

We rose before 6 a.m. the following morning to prepare and eat. The bus pulled up at 7 a.m. and took us to the main office where we met the rest of our group (about 10 tourists and 3 guides) and gathered our gear - packs, ice picks, cramp ons, mountaineering boots, gaitors, fleece hats, fleece neck warmers, mountaineering mittens, some kind of weird pant/butt attachment designed to facilitate sliding down a mountain on your behind, shell pants, jackets, lots of food and water. Thus equipped, we drove an hour to the base camp to judge the weather.

When we arrived we were clearly sitting in the middle of a cloud. Our guides proclaimed the conditions to be ¨hermosa!¨, assuring us that we'd climb out of these clouds before long. Off we went, Kate and I bringing up the rear as our group trudged ever so slowly through the snow and up the mountain.

At the first rest stop we were both impatient to get moving as the group was climbing way too slowly for us to make it to the top in the required 6 hrs. Off we went with one of the guides to form the ¨fast group¨. This ended up being the only group to reach the summit and consisted of us, our guide and a British couple.

We did indead emerge from the clouds eventually to be greeted by beautiful views and blaringly white snow. We could not, however, see the summit. It turns out we were between cloud layers for a bright shining moment and would soon find ourselves buried inside a cloud once again, unable to see more than 10 feet in front of us. This lack of visibility was probably for the best. If it had been clearer I would have been able to see just how steep the slope I was half walking up, half slipping down, really was. As it was, every time Kate or I glanced up to look around we got instant vertigo and tripped over ourselves.

As we continued upward, the clouds became downright mean and started throwing things at us. Any stray hairs, including eyelashes and wisps falling out of our hats collected ice and snow, and my shades became coated with water, only maginfying the feeling that I had no idea where I was going...just keep following the blob that is our guide in front of me.

This was the point at which I started realizing that we looked like a line of hardcore mountaineers from documentaries I'd seen in the past. It was a short leap from that thought to specifically ¨Touching the Void¨ which, if you´ve never seen it, is not the movie you most want in your head as you climb a peak in South America.

My slight nervousness developed into a near paranoia when our guide stopped us to explain the proper use of the ice ax should you find yourself sliding uncontrollably down the mountain...right way, you stop... wrong way - and I quote here - 'Adios'. I proceeded one step at a time by putting my foot exactly where our guide had just removed his own - in other words, right on his ass. Kate did the same directly behind me.

When we reached the top, Kate and I walked up the crater and peered down only to be welcomed by a suffocating belch of sulphur. We ran away coughing and tearing up, yet still were quite satisfied that we'd reached the summit to receive a nice big sulphur ¨hola¨from the volcano.

After some sulphur cloud shrowded victory pictures, back down the mountain we went with me just inches behind the guide yet again. We descened via a different route which our guide softly informed me can be tricky to find in cloudy conditions such as this but without which you had to stay on the mountain top. Why he saw fit to share these little pearls of wisdom with only me, I can't be sure. Over the course of our hike I also got to hear several tales of dead tourists who'd falled off precipices, their bodies unable to be found till summer - all of whom, oddly enough, seemed to be Israelis. Maybe it was because he was annoyed with my walking practically on top of him, but stories like these only assured that I would continue to do so all the way up and down the mountain.

We slid down much of the mountain on our behinds, walking on the less steep sections and sliding through the rest while using our ice picks as breaks. The snow got slushier and soopier as we went down and began piling up around me till my pants had become about as slushy as the snow. Very cozy, I assure you.

Before too long we were back in the cloud break. At this point sliding was done and I tromped quickly down the slope, legs wide, wet pants sticking to my body. By the time we reached the parking lot we were again in a cloud - this one so thick that I couldn't find our van till I was standing nearly on top of it. Miraculously, I was still sunburned, not to mention wet, a little cold and famished. There was nothing to be done about the burn, but I addressed the others easily...first we camped ourselves by a wood stove and ordered dinner in town (I ate a completo gigante which is a glorified giant - and I do mean GIANT - hot dog); then followed a bottle of wine at the hot springs just out of town. Soaking in the dark with a bottle of wine, a light rain falling all around us -- the perfect end to a mountaineering day.